Sarita Maybin is an international speaker and communications expert. She has worked with clients like Hewlett Packard, Kaiser Permanente, Los Angeles County, Department of Navy and the Las Vegas Convention Center and has spoken all over the world. In 2012 she was voted Top 5 Communication Speaker and has had the privilege of speaking on the TEDx stage. She’s also the author of If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? and an expert in confronting tough communication situations in a positive and fun way.
Today, we continue the Powerful Women Series in honor of Women’s History Month. Our focus today is on the people pillar and how we communicate. We tackle the complex topic of speaking up when it might not be comfortable and talk about the importance of finding a middle ground to say what needs to be said before things blow up. We discuss how to ask for what we want using the right language. This includes giving the other party a vote by using collaborative phrases and the power of positive communication phrases. This episode is full of practical tactics for both personal and professional communication.
It’s important to speak up and say what needs to be said.
Use phrases like, “I would appreciate” to make requests not demands.
We need to just ask for what we want. Use a phrase like, “would you be willing to?” Use collaborative phrases at home.
When giving feedback focus on the positive rather than the negative and use positive communication phrases like, “help me understand.”
3 Clues that you should pick up the phone instead of email or text. Sensitive subject, conflict, or when there’s a back and forth.
Instead of a spellcheck do a “please and thank you check.”
The 3Ps by Dr. Martin Sullivan: Don’t take things PERSONALLY. It’s not PERMANENT. Don’t let it ruin the big PICTURE.
We can use “if”, “as soon as” and “when” to set boundaries.
Quotes from the show:
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all doesn’t work anymore. Sometimes you have to say what you need to say. – Sarita Maybin
We can all benefit from more truth tellers in the workplace. – Sarita Maybin
If we don’t tell the truth, how do people improve? – Sarita Maybin
You can tell people the truth and leave them with their dignity intact. – Patrice Washington
Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean. – Sarita Maybin
We can make subtle changes in how we talk to each other while remaining assertive. – Sarita Maybin
Instead of a demand, its okay to make a request. – Sarita Maybin
We need to just ask for what we want. – Sarita Maybin
Sometimes our biggest challenges are the communication in our own home. – Sarita Maybin
Give feedback with a positive rather than a negative. – Sarita Maybin
We do a spell-check on email, but what we should do is a “please and thank you” check. – Sarita Maybin
Don’t take things PERSONALLY. It’s not PERMANENT. Don’t let it ruin the big PICTURE. – Dr. Martin Sullivan
Don’t take other people’s problems on and allow it to ruin your day by taking it personally. – Sarita Maybin
When people say something negative it says more about who they are than who you are. – Sarita Maybin
Just because you’re in a drama, you don’t have to be dramatic. – Tim Storey
Participating in other people’s drama is a choice. – Sarita Maybin
Are you the person who brightens the room when you walk in OR when you leave? – Sarita Maybin
Sarita’s Redefining Wealth Rapid Wisdom Questions
Enjoying what you do and making a difference.
Define Wealth in 3 Words or Less:
Feeling that you have enough for yourself and enough to share with others.